The *Onion*ited States of Amerika

All via Yahoo! home page, The Nation's (Contaminated) Water Cooler®:

   No, not sand Hannitizer ...

Teens getting drunk from hand sanitizer



Pizza Hut Middle East
Yesterday
Did anyone order a Pizza ?
يا جماعة مين طلب بيتزا؟

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... The new "Crown Crust Burger" pizza is being sold in the Middle East, while the hot dog stuffed crust option is only available at U.K. locations. The entire Pizza Hut Middle East fan page is kind of weird, including a picture of a delivery man literally emerging from an oven with smoke rising off his body ...



... The mistake was not actually related to her appearance ... "He was very sympathetic that he'd shot his girlfriend" ...


... The Heart Attack Grill offers free meals to any customer who weighs over 350 pounds and features a butterfat milkshake, nonfiltered cigarettes, "flatliner" fries and four burgers, each rated on an ascending scale of "a single bypass" to the "quadruple bypass." ...
Scruffy Rubin and Snickers Carter getting married (Wade Byars/The Desert Sun)

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