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The 19 Most Ridiculous Texting Fails
Here are 19 of our favorite text mix ups and mishaps. Please text responsibly.

Huffington Post

Good Humor shortage puts ice cream man in bad mood
Shortage of some Good Humor bars puts ice cream truck customers in a bad mood

HAGERSTOWN, Md. (AP) -- As the first heat wave of summer broiled the Northeast on Wednesday, fans of Good Humor's classic Toasted Almond Bar found a shortage of sweet relief.

Parent company Unilever PLC said a sales spike during the unusually warm spring and challenges linked to next month's closing of its Hagerstown manufacturing plant have limited its ability to supply ice cream trucks with Toasted Almond, Candy Center Crunch and Chocolate Eclair bars — treats especially popular in the Northeast.

The British-Dutch conglomerate said the Toasted Almond shortage should ease by the end of July.

"We are confident that all issues will be resolved by mid-summer," Unilever spokesman Jeff Graubard said in an email.

That's little comfort to Brian Collis, owner of Mr. Ding-a-Ling Ice Cream Inc. in Latham, N.Y.
He said customers of his 68 trucks in the area around Albany suffered through a shortage of Good Humor Oreo bars for most of the spring and now can only get Toasted Almond Bars from a grocery store.

"The Toasted Almond's such an old-time thing from the 1950s," he said. "It's just such a basic thing we've always had. Now everybody's missing it."

He said Good Humor supply problems have taken a 5 percent bite out of his sales.

Less affected are mobile vendors on the West Coast. Lauren Kates, owner of Aunt LaLi's Treats in San Francisco area, said her wholesaler doesn't carry Toasted Almond Bars because there's virtually no demand for them.

"Every once in a while we get some East Coast people who've migrated out here who ask about it," she said...
And this one.

21 Pictures That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity
People aren't always awful. Sometimes, they're maybe even just a little bit wonderful. Here are 21 pictures to remind you of that fact.
Because today the haters won't get you down:

Because today the haters won't get you down:

23 Reasons Why Today Is Going To Be The Best Day Ever

17. This lemur who just realized how many beers he drank

30 Animals Who Look Like They Had A Wild Night
Humans aren't the only ones who know how to have a good time. Someone get these guys some aspirin, stat! If you want to see more fluffy animals going off the rails, check out Ted, coming to theaters on June 29th.

A Dude's Dilemma
"Hey. I just dropped my water bottle. I think it rolled into your stall."

If the Old West Was 10 Times Manlier
By: Seanbaby
If you're a woman, you have only moments to shield your birth canal and run from Man Comics. Hurry. OK, fellas, now that the ladies are gone, let's speak as men. I created Man Comics to celebrate adventure without all the womanly plot structure and dance numbers of traditional storytelling. During my illustrious and nearly award-eligible career here at Cracked, I've manned up both the science fiction and sci-fi genres. I made black comics blacker, crime comics crimer, and drove a dick-like penis straight into girl comics. I even added bulges to superhero comics, but this month I am manlifying one of the manliest of genres: The Western.

The 6 Most Baffling Nobel Prizes Ever Awarded
#6.Yasser Arafat Wins for Agreeing to Stop Killing Jews for a While
#5.Nobel Economics Prize Winner Loses Billions
#4.Two Guys Win the Nobel Prize in Physics for an Accident
#3.Scientist Wins the Nobel Prize in Douchebaggery

#2.

Al Gore Wins Oscar for PowerPoint Presentation, Gets Nobel Prize.

"What!" you exclaim as you munch on organically-grown arugula and look up prices on used Priuses. "How dare you mock Al Gore, the man who has done so much to alert the world about climate change? He's the hero of our time! He's the Martin Luther King, Jr. of the environment!"

Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2008 for helping spread the word about man-made climate change, which helps world peace because shut up, that's why. Whether or not you agree with him is your business. But it looks like he might not agree with himself.

What Happened?

Al Gore's house in Nashville uses over 12 times the amount of energy that a normal American house uses. "It's OK!" you say. "It's green energy!" But Gore didn't make the switch to green energy until after he started getting criticized. Then there's the pesky little fact that he owns over a quarter million dollars worth of stock in Occidental Petroleum, a big and evil oil company started by his father's buddy Arm and Hammer.

Then there's his personal jet, which he claims to make up for by buying renewable energy credits. Though a lot of those green kilowatts are actually produced in coal power plants. And not so-called "clean coal" either, because Al Gore is making sure that dream doesn't come true.

But maybe worse than that is who got shafted out of the prize so Gore could win. Namely Irene Sendler, a Polish nurse who saved (as in, carried on her back) over 2,500 Jewish children in the Warsaw ghetto, got captured by the fucking Gestapo and refused to reveal their names even after being severely tortured. After escaping with two broken legs, she said "motherfuck this shit," went back to the ghetto, and saved more Jewish children.

Oh, and, guess what? She died in 2008, making her ineligible to win in the future.

#1.

Nobel Prize for Carving Out People's Souls

You know what's just great? Cutting people's brains out.

What, you don't agree? Then you're also disagreeing with the Nobel Prize Committee, who awarded the 1949 Nobel Prize in Medicine to Dr. Antonio Moniz, the brilliant man behind a little procedure called the lobotomy.

When not forming political parties in his native Portugal, Moniz spent his free time pursuing his hobby of independent medical experimentation. That's right, he pretty much just performed tests on dead bodies in his basement for fun.

By the 1930s he was one of the most famous men in Portugal, which is about the equivalent of being one of the best basketball players in the state of Idaho. In 1935, he performed the first successful lobotomy, which involved drilling holes in the patient's skull and killing brain tissue by injecting it with alcohol. But don't worry, the surgeon general's warning on that ninth Smirnoff bottle is really just a suggestion.

What Happened?

Well, naturally, old-timey Europe was just delighted at the idea. Husbands started using lobotomies to silence their wives, and parents relied on it to control unruly children. Moniz won the Nobel Prize for Medicine in 1949, dying a few years later after getting shot up by one of his patients.

However, it wasn't long before people started wondering how cool these emotionless lobotomized patients were with the fact that their souls had been ripped out. The Soviet Union banned the procedure in 1950, calling it "contrary to the principles of humanity." Which is kind of like the Emperor telling you that you're acting like a dick.

"Seriously, dude, lighten up a bit."

Nonetheless, lobotomies continued to be performed across the world, most notably in Scandinavia. It wasn't until the 70s when they became pretty much taboo in the Western world, though there are a few still being done today.

Meanwhile, you know who never won a Nobel Prize? Robert fucking Jarvik, the guy who invented the artificial heart.

Really, Nobel? Really?

The 7 Worst Things Airline Pilots Have Done Mid-Flight | Cracked.com

If Classic Comic Books Were Written for Women (By Men) | Cracked.com

8 Real Grade Schools That Went Completely Insane | Cracked.com

If Old School Comics Were Even Manlier: F#@kin'-A Comics | Cracked.com:

The 16 Most Baffling Pieces of Official Merchandise Ever | Cracked.com:

#14.

Jar Jar Binks Candy Tongue

Via automaticlifestyledispenser

When it came time to create merchandise to promote soon-to-be-released The Phantom Menace, the licensing guys outdid themselves. Especially when they came up with a candy that featured Jar Jar Binks thrusting his dick-shaped candy tongue out of his gaping mouth while smiling eagerly and holding a wide-eyed frenzied gaze.

Via toplessrobot

Because French-kissing the penis mouth of the most hated Star Wars character in history was exactly what kids were into those days. Or any days, really.

#5.

Star Trek Marshmallow Dispenser

Via apieceoftheaction

Have you ever found yourself in desperate need of a marshmallow dispenser? One that was needlessly complicated and came with a fork so big you could toss bales of hay with it? Kraft Foods and Star Trek have got your back, THANK GOD.

This product was released in 1989 with Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, a film that includes exactly one reference to marshmallows.

Seen here, if you don't blink and miss it.

That was more than enough for the people at Kraft to roll out this official Star Trek marshmallow dispenser that inexplicably comes with a fork, spoon, belt clip and burdensome plastic container, in case you need to carry exactly four marshmallows but aren't concerned with comfort or convenience.

#3.

Redd Foxx, the Cuddly Children's Doll

Via funkystuffblog

Here's a doll that needs no explanation, other than the one you'll have to give to your kid's therapist.

Redd Foxx was a groundbreaking, incredibly popular comedian in the '70s and '80s, but to be very clear, he was a comedian for adults, as a lot of his material was sexual and his most famous routine was called "You Gotta Wash Your Ass." No one apparently told this to the people at Shindana Toys, who released this official Redd Foxx doll in 1976. Clearly marketed for children, the doll also talked and include some variations of his famous sayings, such as "Please, wash your face before you kiss me" and "You are uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugly," just the kind of self-esteem boosts little girls need to hear when they're growing up.

"I will kill you in your sleeeeeeeep."

Sci-Fi Stories for Badassed Men | Cracked.com

Public Restroom Rules | Cracked.com

The 7 Most Baffling Products Ever Released By Famous Brands | Cracked.com:

#5.

Gerber Singles

Hey, remember baby food? Man, that stuff was great! Why the hell did you stop eating that once you got teeth? If you can't think of a reason, then you just might be A) the core demographic for Gerber Singles, an adult-marketed mush of single-serving jarred food analogues, or B) Just a little bit slow.

Released in 1974, Gerber Singles sported flavors like Pureed Mediterranean Vegetables, Beef Burgundy, Blueberry Delight and Creamed Beef. Say what you will about them, but Gerber doesn't half-ass anything. Did they go out and test the waters for an entirely new genre of food product by easing into it and releasing logical liquid flavors first, like Flan or Pea Soup? No! Not one, but two gelatinous beef dishes in a line-up of five. With 40 percent of the launch line-up being composed of runoff from the slaughterhouse floor, and a name that basically called you lonely on the label, Gerber Singles quickly flopped and stuck with their traditional market: babies. Stupid, stupid babies who have to eat whatever you shove in their mouths.

#1.

Kellogg's Urban Wear

The Street: A place where life can be bought with a handful of bullets. The only way to live is to live hard, and your rep is your only shield. Street-cred is the difference between standing your ground and laying dead in the street. And what says both that you are not a man to be fucked with--and that you understand black culture because you have lived the life--better than children's cereal?

Kellogg's "Under the Hood" urban wear lets everybody know that this hood is Tony the Tiger's turf, and if you step up you're likely to get a cap Snap, Crackle and Popped in your ass.

Though you undoubtedly look tough in your Honey Smacks low-riders, perhaps emblazoning the words "Dig'em" across your ass-cheeks sends the wrong message, suggesting less that you're a "hard-ass, big-ballin' gangsta" and more that you're, well... no, that's pretty apt, actually.

And that's not one isolated product and an unfortunate photo shoot: They really went full-bore trying to convince wannabe thugs to replace the gun and pot leaf patches on their ass with colorful parrots and suggestions that they like to be "frosted:"

Full Disclosure: Now that you're through laughing, you should know that all photo models pictured died mysteriously after repeatedly falling on moving bullets. Don't you feel bad?

No?

All right, back to laughing:

Source

Why The Flintstones Takes Place in a Post-Apocalyptic Future | Cracked.com:

... One of the most enduring charms of The Flintstones is the outdated, animal-driven technology. Instead of a garbage disposal, a pig sits under the sink. They pedal their cars and use a bird's beak to play records.

Youtube

Suddenly, what we've long taken as a mere series of jokes about a primitive family having access to modern technology now seems like something more grim. Those bird beak record players and dinosaur powered factories are just the sad remnants of a world that used to be. A simple case of using what you have around to rebuild what once was.

HatchedIt
Don't ask us to explain how those televisions work.

They even celebrate Christmas. That's a little bit deeper than just having boxes that they put food in to heat it up.

They're literally celebrating the birth of Christ on a show that, as far as we've always believed, takes place prior to the birth of Christ.

And to buy all of those Christmas presents, they have a pretty sophisticated economy. Unlike most primitive societies, the Flintstones don't operate on a barter system. They use actual money and have a seemingly complicated banking system. How complicated? Well, you apparently have to fill out deposit slips using a chisel. That seems pretty labor intensive.

220.ro
Imagine being stuck in line behind that shit.

In addition, their money looks strangely contemporary, which is to say it looks like it belongs at the heart of a mystic-secret-society-is-ruling-the-world conspiracy theory.

The means to produce ink may not have survived the apocalypse that turned back the hands of time, but clearly stacks and stacks of paper money did. Using that as a tool to put together some semblance of an economy beats burning $100 bills in dumpsters to keep the roving hordes of hobos that accompany any apocalyptic scenario warm.

So far, we're talking about a supposedly prehistorical society that is perfectly capable of creating modified 20th century technology and a modern banking system. If we discovered a primitive society with the same characteristics today, we'd suspect they weren't primitive at all -- that they'd either been influenced by the outside world or were rebuilding from an earlier grandeur. Especially if they only listened to '50s-style rock and roll, sometimes pretty clearly inspired by the Beatles or the Beach Boys.

Remember, The Flintstones originally aired from 1960 to 1966, at the height of the Cold War. What if a nuclear showdown between the Soviets and Americans was what blew Bedrock to kingdom come? What if the Flintstones are us in the future, clinging to the best of our past as we rebuild? The familiar technology, entertainment and religion are all that remain from the fractured memories of a shattered history that never was. The Flintstones are living a life that's half The Matrix and half the ending of Wall-E, in a brave old world...

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26 Old-Timey Ads for Modern Products: