Scottolojisms

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  Dental Assistant Fired For Being 'Irresistible' Is 'Devastated'

  
  

  "Dr. Knight acknowledges he once told Nelson that if she saw his pants bulging, she would know her clothing was too revealing," the justices wrote.

  Six months before Nelson was fired, she and her boss began exchanging text messages about work and personal matters, such as updates about each of their children's activities, the justices wrote.

  The messages were mostly mundane, but Nelson recalled one text she received from her boss asking "how often she experienced an orgasm."

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  Scott  
  

  I'm too sexy for my (X-ray) skirt.

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  Scott  
  

  At least she's now spared, after getting from him an A+ checkup, hearing how impressed he was by the fact that she's "got the whitest teeth I've ever come across" ...

• 8 Words that Most Liars Use
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  Scott  
  

  8 Words that Most Liars Use: "I swear it's never happened to me before".

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  Should Women Shave Their Faces?
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  Scott  
  

  "Guys' habit can make women look younger"
  
  Darling, you've got the youngest skin I've ever come upon ...

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  Co-owner of Lynden's Soda Fountain, Tobi Lynden, holds boxes of candy cigarettes, in St. Paul, Minn., Wednesday, Dec. 26, 2012. Lynden's Soda Fountain was cited for selling candy cigarette's (sic) to kids. The candy cigarettes are no longer displayed or sold. (AP Photo/The Star Tribune, Jeff Wheeler)

  
  

  Crack Down on Candy Cigarette 'Slingers'
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  Scott  
  

  So what, pray tell me, other than a candy cigarette am I in the afterglow of my monitor supposed to "smoke" after watching, hand in hand with myself as Lou Reed would say, a Candy Samples video? You can have my corn-syrup Camel when you stub its pink food-colored ember out in my cold, dead Play-Doh ashtray.

• Dragonfly Shows Human-Like Power of Concentration
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  Scott  
  

  "Dragonfly shows human-like concentration" How much you want to bet there's a pin-drop microphone somewhere that's also caught the little buggers grunting while dropping a deuce?

• Want Success? Fix Your Mornings
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  Scott  
  

  "What successful people do in the morning". Drop a deuce - followed, in some cases or so I've read, by a ... Jack. By that standard of success, I'm a ... regular ... Richest Man in Babylon.

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  Brain cells in rhesus monkeys fire when they give other monkeys juice but don't receive any themselves.

  
  

  Found: Altruism Brain Cells
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  Scott  
  

  Caption to photo: "Psst! I'll give you my bag of Rhesus Pieces if you'll pick the fleas out of my scalp before I head out to the Banana Bar: it's Karamonkey Night tonight".